Maybe it shoulda been a Facebook post

This is just a quick chuckle from the Dementia outpost. My niece Lindsey recently bought a house. I’ve seen the pictures. It’s a really nice house! New carpet and everything. She brought my mom over to spend the night after my step father landed in the hospital, cuz Mom gets a little nervous about staying alone at night. Plus, given her mental state, she doesn’t need to be alone in any place longer than absolutely necessary. But to take her overnight somewhere, she has to bring her dog, Buddy, the 100 lb Boxer.

Well, because the Old Folks are either to deaf or too enfeebled to let Buddy out every time he needs to pee, he has resorted back to some puppy habits, including doing various numbers (number 1 and number 2, in case I need to spell that out. I’m talking about pee and poo, you see.) indoors, including on the carpets.

Clearly Lindsey is not happy about this, but you can’t correct Buddy in front of my mom, because that’s animal abuse or something. And Mom had the audacity to say, “He’s just helping you decorate. To give the house some “character” so that you don’t get too snooty.”

My brother and I were laughing about this today and how ridiculous the whole thing sounds, but the silver lining in the whole deal is that we now have a new euphemism for “number 2”: it’s “character.” This led us to start howling about having to take a character and about finding character stains on our kids’ undies.

If you don’t laugh at this stuff, you will cry.

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